


A Soothing Nightmare

by andywriter98



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26704141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andywriter98/pseuds/andywriter98
Summary: Anna insisted on staying behind in Cuba, so she wouldn’t have to live life on the run. Nonetheless, even after reuniting with Callen, can she deal with the hurt which the not seeing the one she loves deeply for so long brought her?An angst and comfort-driven one-shot that takes place after “The Circle”.
Relationships: G Callen/Anna Kolcheck
Kudos: 5





	A Soothing Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> These wonderful characters are the NCISLA writers' intellectual property. I just enjoy juggling them around into my scenarios. Therefore, I own the story. I hope the transitions between "scenes" are not hard to understand. I tried to make them as comprehensible as possible.  
> Furthermore, I'm not an English native, so I apologize for any possible typos or grammar mistakes that might still exist, despite the numerous proofreads I've done.  
> Have a nice read!

Three months had passed by since Anna’s eyes last saw the one for whom she had miserably but lovingly fell for leaving, after they managed to rescue Nikita from Pavel’s despicable hands.  
The days in Cuba began to be unbearably boring and lonely. Anna barely left the minute place Joelle had arranged for them to stay at unless she had to buy groceries and necessary means. 

After what had happened at the old facility where Volkoff went down, her affiliation with Joelle and with the CIA wasn’t being that productive. If Anna was honest with herself, she wasn’t even a bit proud of that connection. Joelle knew how to be cold when she felt like it, and she had already gone to god-knows-where. Anna saw many things in Joelle but a truly trustworthy person.

During one of those warm but solitary Cuban nights at that badly lit, silent, and dingy room, Anna couldn’t keep her mind from drifting off to the one she had seen go. She could still feel her heart breaking into pieces as if that moment was happening repeatedly in front of her. 

While sat barefoot and cross-legged on the crappy bed—it had a pretty shoddy mattress with some second-rate sheets on top—Anna’s greenish eyes stared at the wide, gridded window and beyond. She could see part of the distant landscape covered in a cool mist, which didn’t allow the stars’ shine to reach her eyesight. With a deep sigh, she moved her torso slowly towards the wall behind her until she could rest her head against it. The night was calm, silent, and beautiful, but its tranquility didn’t match the storm going on in her spirit. 

In order to try ceasing the longing and the pain a little—like in preceding nights—Anna moved a little to her left side and reached for the right pocket on the back of her jeans. A small picture of Callen, which she had brought along with her ever since she had been awaiting her sentencing, slowly entered her visual field. Anna’s delicate but skilled hands held that tiny piece of happiness as carefully as they possibly could and her whole being contemplated it. The photo was taken during their first trip together as a couple, back in the very beginnings of 2017. 

Suddenly, Anna began to relive that moment. 

She recalled Callen’s dumbfounded semblance when they arrived at Legoland. The place was huge for its theme, he thought. However, his hesitancy over that place soon disappeared when both found a short table at a not-so-noisy nor crowded place and sat down opposite to each other with the table in the middle, a couple of hours later. Their goal was to rest a little from the walking, but Anna noticed that there was a little figure ready to be built on that table and she didn’t resist giving it a shot. Ever since she touched the first piece, joy and serenity radiated from her face. 

In that precise moment, Callen subconsciously bet that such a positive scenario had the power to cheer up the saddest of beings and warm their hearts. The way his girlfriend’s physiognomy kind of transformed itself as it revealed how she was mentally going back to her happy childhood memories was perfectly noticeable to him. A sudden instant of what might be named as selfishness flashed through Callen’s heart, and he wished he could feel some of that contentment and ease about his own childhood. 

“How does it feel?” he asked softly, breaking the rather satisfying silence that had surrounded them for a bit. As soon as Anna's gaze lifted towards him and a look of confusion spread all over her countenance, Callen promptly completed his question. “To go back, I mean.” 

Anna quickly realized that his skills of reading people were on point—as always—and that he had caught her zoning out from reality to focus and somehow melt into the kid she once was. She chuckled quietly.

“Good. Heartwarming, in a way,” she replied in an at-peace tone as she kept working on the figure. 

With a light manner to her gestures and voice, she began to explain what she knew Callen was asking himself: how did LEGO become such an important part of her life and how did she fall in love with it. “Arkady wasn’t a very present father—or present at all—as you know, but he would send me the most recent LEGO, twice a year. I was eleven when I received the first one. They were normally monuments from places he had been at—even though I had no idea of such a thing, at the time—or historic figures. Rare and limited-edition ones included. Sometimes action ones, too.” As soon as she finished the sentence she looked up at Callen and she grinned at his surprised and shocked facial expression.

“It had never crossed my mind that Arkady had that kind of connections,” he joked while trying not to laugh.

“Yeah. Arkady appears to be many things, but a LEGO fanatic sure isn’t one of them.” Anna had to wry laugh at the thought. Then she stopped working on the figure, looked at Callen, and carried on. “I had a whole collection when I was a kid, and I loved displaying them. However, there came a day when we—me and my grandmother—had to move to a smaller place, and I couldn’t bring those with me. I never saw them again.” There was a brief pause and Anna sighed quite heavily at the nostalgic reminder. “I’m not much of a materialistic person, so to speak, but I really enjoyed the whole put-together process no matter how long it took. Also, with time, my grandmother got sicker and sicker, and my will to focus on what seemed to be such a futile thing—in comparison—vanished, I guess. Real-life came running towards me.” Anna’s smile faded a bit. “Sometimes I think that perhaps it was Arkady’s subconscious way of keeping me from losing this magic so soon,” she added while pointing at the figure.

Callen listened to her closely with a contemplative attitude and could only imagine how tough it had been for her. He had suffered from not knowing who his father was and if he was alive, for that matter. On the other hand, Anna had gone through the pain of knowing who hers was and not being able to enjoy his presence when she was a child. There was no sort of comparison between their so different yet very similar experiences, but there were moments during which Callen wondered if she hadn’t had it worse, on that front. 

Additionally, he had never had many toys as a kid. Truth be told, his possible fondness of them disappeared as he grew up. Well, as he was obliged to do so sooner than what is normally expected from a kid, that is.   
The real, tough, and traumatic life that Callen endured from a young age didn’t leave much space for one to get distracted over toys. A secret spy ring and a couple of other cops-related gear, as well as some pocketbooks, were the only objects he had owned as a child. One of those books was a Russian grammar and vocabulary guidebook that the little Alina Rostoff had given him when he left. That was the nicest foster family he had had the pleasure to meet and live with. Thanks to them, and especially to the little girl, he grew more familiar with the Russian language, which proved to be pretty useful for his career. Moreover, their company and care proved to him that good hearts still existed, despite the whole cruelty and abuse that he experienced. 

“Maybe we could take a couple of figures with us,” Callen proposed without any hesitancy. “If you want.” 

Anna didn’t exactly answer but she smiled caringly at him. Callen could see the sparkle in her eyes, which was quite gratifying to witness. 

Once they headed to the store, they saw that the queue was considerably lengthy. So, Callen offered to wait in line. That way Anna could enjoy her visit for some more minutes. She handed him enough money, and then went back to the spot where they had been at, earlier. What she didn’t see coming is that her boyfriend would end up paying for one of the two figures that she chose. 

When Callen met her again, he gave her the first box and then handed her the other one, which was wrapped in a rather modest but colorful wrapping paper. Anna already knew what was hidden under it, but she couldn’t help feeling surprised by his sweetness. 

“What’s that?” she asked while grinning. 

Like Callen had told her, it was a gift, but it had been more than just a simple, ordinary gift to her. In a way, Anna took it as his manner of saying that he wanted to help her recover part of her childhood and build some new memories with her, as well. That meant immensely to Anna, more than words ever would, and his lovely gesture got her falling deeper. 

“Well, I never built a LEGO before, not even with Sam’s kids. Maybe you could show me how to do it properly,” Callen stated with a smile. 

“Thank you,” Anna declared before moving closer to him and resting her lips on his for a tender but a passionate appreciation kiss. “And I will,” she added teasingly. Both chuckled.

Overall, that had been a very nice and well-spent day. 

As a photography enthusiast, Anna didn’t let the day go by without eternalizing it in a couple of photos. One of them portrayed Callen only. She took it when they were practically leaving the place they had been at and it was one of her dearest photos. Anna cherished it very much. It pictured him sitting on the little bench with an adorable wide smile caused by a little boy who joked about Callen and Anna being too old to play with LEGO’s, as he passed by them on his way out. She could practically hear him laughing through that photo, which showed just how radiant and contagious his laugh was. His whole being was shining.

After a while, she was brought back to reality, her mind returning to the bedroom. 

She kept staring at Callen’s smile on the photo and suddenly the image began to fade away as every moment she had shared with him invaded her mind and played out in that frame. It looked like they were part of a movie. 

Once the memory of their last moment ended—the moment during which they silently said goodbye while their eyes exchanged pain and sadness before Callen ran towards the chopper—Anna felt a salty tear wetting her lips. She still hadn’t been able to wrap her head around how much it had hurt to watch him go. She couldn’t and didn’t want to believe that their last moment had been the very last. Her heart and mind simply refused to accept that the most intense and sincere love she had ever felt in her life was part of the past already.

All of a sudden, a strong and sharp pain took over her chest as the progressive fade on the photo frame turned into a darker, agonizing view, caused by Anna’s eyes, which began to shut. She never thought the heartbreak was ever going to be taking the best of her, but moments later she figured that she was fighting to breathe. 

Whilst Anna forced herself to keep breathing, she woke up and instinctively sat up in despair while bending her knees towards her chest. The scenario she was now seeing for real looked like an extension of the darkness she was guided to, earlier. Her eyes widened as the very last bits of her dream took place. 

After it dissipated, her head collapsed on her palms and a tear escaped from her eyes. For a moment, Anna looked up and around to try making sense of things. As her blurred vision due to the tears and to her torment gradually allowed, she saw that she was in a dim room.   
The only source of illumination was the crystalline and mystic moonlight, which invaded the apartment, and specifically the soft and warm area where Anna was sat on, through the blinds on the window that stayed in front of it, in an otherworldly but comforting way that contrasted beautifully with the darkness the night had brought, and which got mixed with some near lamp post’s light, creating a suave ambiance. 

Anna kept on exploring the area and quickly recognized that she wasn’t alone nor in a non-familiar space. In fact, Anna noticed that, apart from the thin sheet that covered her lower body, she was very naked, although she didn’t feel awkward about it. Perhaps her subconscious kept her from feeling stressed and anxious about that fact, given that she was in bed with Callen, who had woken up due to her spasms. 

“Bad dream?” he asked with a sleepy voice as he pushed himself up and sat against the shelf that was placed behind his bed. Callen already knew the answer. The way Anna turned to face him straight away without replying, her features heavy and full of horror, too, told him everything he needed to know. “It’s okay, it’s over. I’m here,” he assured her as he moved closer and wrapped his arms around her in a tight and an affectionate hug, his tone low and tender, just like he had done in previous nights. Hopefully, the warmth of their nude bodies against one another would soothe her to sleep, contrary to what happened earlier. 

Callen knew exactly what the content of her nightmare was. She had told him it—well, part of it—in the first night that it happened, the night in which they had truly reunited, emotionally, and physically. Except for their ardent but sweet lovemaking, that was a terrible night for Anna. And for Callen as well. 

After having been shaken off her sleep in a similar but more intense way, and with an enormous urge to cry, Callen tried to comfort her. The crying stopped, after a while. Nevertheless, Anna didn’t seem to be able to close her eyes, again. According to what she had told him, she kept being hunted by the same images over and over. 

In an attempt to ease her pain and anxiety in that initial night, Callen recalled some episodes from his days at foster homes, specifically at the Rostoff’s—the Russian family with whom he stayed the longest. He pondered that perhaps tea would give her a sense of warmth and comfort that could hopefully help her fall asleep. Following Anna’s approval, Callen got up, put his boxers on, and went to prepare some nice, warm tea for both. 

Dawn was soon coming, and Callen discreetly called Hetty to inform her that he wouldn’t show up for work that day. Sleep wasn’t one of his strong suits, but he had gotten used to a certain amount of sleeping hours already. He knew that he would be of no use that day with the lack of sleep on his shoulders, and he certainly didn’t want to leave a traumatized Anna alone. So, he walked up the stairs and handed her a cup of tea before crawling onto the bed. That was how he proceeded through the first few nights when it comes to preparing tea. 

Nonetheless, he soon understood that the tea kept her awake for longer instead of calming her down as he had hoped it would.

With the intention of being there for her, Callen stayed awake by her side, with her in his inviting embrace, and gently took his time in convincing her to talk her nightmare through, if she was comfortable. Sharing what it had been about would help her comprehend and handle it better next time, he believed. Because there was always a “next time” with those, and Callen knew that by experience. He also knew that, for people like them, talking things through didn’t come easy no matter how much they trusted in one another. In fact, it wasn’t really a matter of trust but of vulnerability. Even so, they were progressively getting there. 

Eventually, Anna began to describe her nightmare a little, a bit more every night. 

By now Callen already knew that it was usually followed by a representation of the last thing she did before falling asleep, during her nights in Cuba. Her looking at the specific tiny photo that portrayed him, that is. In her imaginary world, that simple activity always led her to “seeing” Callen being caught in what seemed to be a trap made by Darius. That “dream” always ended in a terrible way, by Callen being shot to death. 

The fear that something could really happen to Callen when she was informed by the CIA that Darius had left a trail of bodies throughout Europe, was the trigger which made Anna secretly leave Cuba, a couple of days later.   
She entered the US at the risk of being arrested so that she could warn Callen of that possible “threat”. Thankfully, Darius never intended to harm the man who had taken her heart and none of what Anna’s mind was still dealing with had happened in real life. Callen was grateful for that, too. 

With a light, gentle kiss on Anna’s forehead, Callen lay on the mattress, later on, and pulled her to him as close as they could possibly be before pulling the covers up towards their chests. Anna hid her face on the place his neck met his shoulder, and then put her left hand on his bare but slightly hairy chest to prevent her from going back to that nightmare. 

In the course of the nights that followed her comeback, Anna realized that feeling the rhythm of his heartbeat on her fingertips helped in calming both her heart and mind. Meanwhile, Callen’s hand rubbed circles on her back in hopes that the motion would lullaby her, just like it had been happening.

Anna was having a tough time ever since she had arrived in LA. The anxiety and the fear that those Callen related news had given her, and which she hadn’t had the time to process before, kept on showing through her sleeping. 

There was a time when Anna thought she didn’t need but simply wanted and desired to be taken care of and be in Callen’s arms. Nevertheless, we all need to be wrapped by our lover’s arms, once—or as many times as wished—in a while, a voice in the back of her mind whispered.

Anna still had a long way ahead of her to walk, but despite having always lived life on her own, little by little she was getting used to needing Callen, his love and support, and wanting his help, instead of desiring it only. It takes both—need and desire—for balance. 

The woman of his life was taking baby steps in order to reach the next level in her personal growth, which would allow her to leave the lone wolf status fully behind, as well as accept and learn how to deal with and build a life where both truly show their vulnerabilities, their fears, and wishes, and rely on each other for help and unconditional support. Callen couldn’t be prouder of her. He recalled how hard it was for him to learn how to completely trust people to have his back, knowing he could count on them—the team—too. 

Having in mind his experience, Callen could only hope that Anna definitely knew and felt that she wasn’t walking the road alone. He wanted to be by her side every step of the way, through the good reveals and the bad moments where one breaks down. It’s a very complex and delicate process. Still, he would make sure to make good on his words and he knew he would be as patience, as understanding, as supportive, and as loving as he could possibly be. For her, and for them.

Callen knew that Anna wanted their relationship to work and develop into something pretty solid and comforting, and he sure had no intentions of letting her down, again. 

The recurrence of her bad dreams, which had started by happening every night for a week straight, had decreased to only two to three times a week and was evolving positively, thankfully. That evidence calmed Callen down and made him hopeful that soon she would no longer be haunted by those thoughts anymore. He knew what and how much those could take out of someone, but Anna—the one who had chosen him to love—was such a tough and independent woman… It hurt him to see her suffering like that because of the tricks that a human mind can do, and which aren’t that easy to control. Callen’s heart broke for her, but they’d be over it, he believed. Someday. 

He knew his Anna and what a force of nature she was in many aspects, both physically and intellectually. 

Besides, he was grateful that her leg had healed correctly and that she didn’t get hurt again during the time that they were apart. Anna was safe and sound in his arms, and he couldn’t be any gladder about it. So couldn’t she. 

Furthermore, Callen wanted to help the woman of his life in some other way, but he knew that the smallest of the steps, even though good intended, could be immensely dangerous for Anna, now. Callen would have to have a private talk with Nate, eventually. Not before speaking about it with Anna, of course. 

By the time Callen’s thoughts ceased, his gaze—which had been alternating between looking at the ceiling and at the window—stopped observing the calm but cool nocturn atmosphere and moved down towards Anna. She was already asleep all snuggled up against him, with her blonde head on his comfy, naked chest. His eyes smiled at the now lovely scenario. She seemed somewhat comfortable and the weight of her body on his felt less heavy. Anna’s features had relaxed, and she looked peaceful. Callen hoped that her mind was as tranquil as her appearance seemed. 

“спокойной ночи (Good night),” he whispered lovingly and remained vigilant for some more minutes until the soothing atmosphere ended up involving him in a night—or what was left of it, anyway—of restful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this! Did you enjoy it? Yes? No? Reviews are welcomed and very much appreciated, and so is constructive criticism. Have a nice week!


End file.
